Today...Pick one of the two essays attached, and evaluate them using the rubric. Tomorrow

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Wesley

4AP

13 November 2014

Camaraderie and Inspiration: Effectively Resisting a Future Problematic Government

            Camaraderie and Inspiration: Effectively Resisting a Future Problematic Government

            The warning that those who do not know history are doomed to repeat it becomes more real every day, and shows no signs of ceasing. The Cold War, 9/11, and most recently the actions of North Korea demonstrate that we have not learned from our mistakes. And, yes, we must accept that humans, by nature, will make mistakes. But the real danger lies in our obliviousness to the effects of these mistakes. If we let our ignorance and inattention rule us, everything life stands for will be taken from under us. However, during times of warning, we often find a loophole or optimism to overcome our problems, as people under duress devote themselves to finding answers. George Orwell puts these warnings into words, but alludes to an optimism, a faith in human nature, at the same time. While clearly shown to be no easy maneuver, books one and two of 1984 reveal Orwell’s suggestion that camaraderie between like-minded individuals and inspiration from unlikely, yet symbolic sources, can come together to resist the altering of history and threats to free-market capitalism and democracy, which 1984 suggests are likely future problems.

            Try to imagine that O’Brien had actually been a leader and compatriot to Winston and Julia in a rebellion against the Party. What if, instead of being a lying, evil operative for the Party, he was a true rebel and a continued inspiration to Winston throughout the story? We can see how the power of camaraderie for a just cause can inspire humans to risk everything. Winston thinks he has found a loyal, highly-respected friend who will help him. Right from the very beginning, Winston sees O’Brien as an ally, and watches O’Brien’s eyes as they say “Don’t worry, I am on your side!” (17). The magnitude of confidence Winston receives in this momentary glance is impressive. This brief instant underscores the power of camaraderie, and Winston shows no hesitation to express his hatred for Big Brother immediately afterward. As his rebellious writing, thinking, and veneration for O’Brien expand, Winston encounters Julia, who will become his most loyal ally in rebellion. In Julia’s eyes, Winston “Was merely one symptom of her revolt against the Party” (122). Off of this ‘illness’ that Orwell describes comes the tangent of a relationship formed in a political act, which strengthens rebellious feelings and opposition at the same time. Ultimately, the two are drawn into O’Brien’s lair, where a seemingly trust-filled environment is built. After O’Brien affirms their hopes of a comradeship of rebellion instilled in the Brotherhood, Winston and Julia realize that “It was impossible to believe that [O’Brien] could be defeated” (175). Instead of focusing on O’Brien’s information of always fighting in the dark, Orwell chooses to examine and praise the camaraderie present in this unlikely trio’s unique relationship. Through this example of companionship, Winston, O’Brien and Julia show their dedication through camaraderie, and reinforce the power of coming together.

            Right in line with camaraderie, Orwell repeatedly gifts his characters with symbolic inspiration for revolt against the Party. Throughout his adventure before his capture, Orwell gives Winston the singing lady, and none other than Julia’s passionate, fighter-like spirit to inspire and guide him on his rebellious journey. Julia’s simple, yet vivacious and inspirational way of living life serves Winston well in 1984. Julia sees the rebellious member “wanting to have a good time; ‘they,’ meaning the Party, wanted to stop you from having it; you broke the rules as best you could” (131). Such a simple definition of intentions comes rarely in Orwellian writing, and setting off the point in parallel structure further demonstrates its importance while uniquely catching the reader’s attention. The underlying inspiration lies in the ultimatum that rules must be broken in order to have a desired life; which are the very roots of ensuing rebellion. Besides Julia, there has never been a truer source of pure inspiration than the singing lady below Mr. Charrington’s shop. Goldstein’s book showed no doubt about the final message being in the hands of the Proles, but it had never been symbolized in such a dramatic way as it was right before Winston and Julia were captured. The Proles themselves symbolize a large camaraderie, and Winston realizes in the scope of ‘The Book’ that “The proles were immortal: you could not doubt it when you looked at that valiant figure in the yard” (219). Spoken in reference to the singing lady, the song comes to symbolize the power over the Party, as they do not sing. A singing prole is the most powerful source of inspiration that Orwell provides, juxtaposed by the realization’s proximity to Winston and Julia’s capture. The proles themselves make up 85% of the population, just sheer strength in numbers alone. The song comes to be a magnanimous addition to an ever-increasing list of what the Party cannot do, which only fuels further revolt.

            Orwell does get many things right in his warning message from 1984, including threats to the very existence of the world as we know it. One such threat includes the disrespect and loss of a capitalist society, which is eerily alluded to on separate occasions in 1984. Orwellian society imposes its natural inverse on capitalism, and Winston sets a prime example with razor blades. He observed how they could only be obtained “By scrounging more or less furtively on the “free” market” (49). Winston’s observation creates a powerful inversion; you want to find an illegal item and search for it on the Black Market, not the free market. History gave the world a few examples of “Red-Scares” before and after the publication of 1984, illustrating that the problems of communism in this world remain problems, and making this inversion a real possibility. Likewise, the wrong opinion of capitalism could be formed as a result of further neglect and disrespect for its economic practices. The capitalists “Owned everything in the world, and everyone else was their slave” (73). The vision of a ‘capitalist king’ further serves as a fair warning. If we don’t start paying more attention, the healthy and efficient capitalist society we know well could be flushed down the toilet and inverted into communism. Moreover, an increasingly controversial topic today regards history, and how little we actually know, most recently illustrated by the releasing of findings of chemical weapons in Iraq. More often than not, keeping information from the public is what our government does best. Ironically, Winston’s job entails changing what actually happened to what the Party says happened in publications. He has a revelation one time that what he does is “Not even forgery. It was merely the substitution of one piece of nonsense for another” (40). Right away this deepens how we think about what our ‘Party’ tells us. The rhetorical question “Are they actually telling the truth?” asks itself even after something was clarified. Just because new information is presented doesn’t necessarily mean factual evidence, and this assumption is another danger that looms ahead.

            With an elite and delicate combination of camaraderie and inspirational messages, Orwell builds up solutions to the ominous threats looming before us, right up until Winston and Julia are captured. The solutions to both of these problems effectively lie in the ‘proles.’ Effectively, they lie in the hands of the common citizen to stand up and exercise their rights, knowing they have the camaraderie of their peers and the inspiration to fight for and keep these freedoms. We outnumber our government in size, trust, and in inspiration as well. These gifts must be put into action when a government oversteps their boundary. We are headed for a defunct capitalist society and no way to tell true history, but that’s only if we let the government strip us of our rights. In this sense, a society loses itself. But it is only when society is lost that it seeks the opportunity to find itself, and to find a way to rebuild itself the way we envisioned it all along. We can assess our mistakes, learn from them, and incorporate that learned knowledge in order to not repeat them as time moves forward. 

Summary:

This handout provides steps and exercises to eliminate wordiness at the sentence level.

Paramedic Method: A Lesson in Writing Concisely

Use the Paramedic Method (originally developed by Richard Lanham in Revising Prose) to edit any kind of professional writing. Editing your professional writing using the Paramedic Method will make your prose easier to read. Sentences that are easy to read are more persuasive and more user-centered.

Professional writers understand the need for clear, concise prose. An industry standard for helping workplace writers achieve user-centered, persuasive, and clear prose is the Paramedic Method. When you use the Paramedic Method, you will reduce your word count by eliminating unnecessary words. The Paramedic Method also helps you activate your sentences by eliminating passive voice and redundancies. The Paramedic Method is an easy to learn, systematic way to make your sentences more persuasive and more user-centered.

Follow the seven steps below to improve the readability of your sentences.

The Paramedic Method

1. Circle the prepositions (of, in, about, for, onto, into)
2. Draw a box around the "is" verb forms
3. Ask, "Where's the action?"
4. Change the "action" into a simple verb
5. Move the doer into the subject (Who's kicking whom)
6. Eliminate any unnecessary slow wind-ups
7. Eliminate any redundancies.

Image Caption: Paramedic Method Example

Now You Try

Use the Paramedic Method in the sentences below to practice.

Use the Paramedic Method in the sentences below to practice making your sentences more concise. After you use the Paramedic Method on these sentences, check your results against the sentences at the bottom of this handout.

1. The point I wish to make is that the employees working at this company are in need of a much better manager of their money.
2. It is widely known that the engineers at Sandia Labs have become active participants in the Search and Rescue operations in most years.
3. After reviewing the results of your previous research, and in light of the relevant information found within the context of the study, there is ample evidence for making important, significant changes to our operating procedures.

Example Concise Solutions:

1. Employees at this company need a better money manager. (Original word count: 26. New word count: 10).
2. In recent years, engineers at Sandia Labs have participated in the Search and Rescue operations. (Original word count: 24. New word count: 16).
3. After reviewing the results of your research, and within the context of the study, we find evidence supporting significant changes in our operating procedures. (Original word count: 36. New word count: 25).

This handout adapted from a larger piece by Richard Johnson-Sheehan.