If you are going to do the revised paper, you must hand in a typed version of Part A on Monday (1 paragraph)

Example from a junior's revision paper:

Rationale Statement:  I need to work on focusing my creating a focused and well-developed thesis statement that gives specific points that are later explained in my essay.  If I get a well-developed thesis statement, then it becomes easier to create good topic sentences in the body paragraphs.  For example instead of using a generic, even cliché statement, “portray how society casts views that can affect a person internally” I should be more specific, molding the thesis to portray the events that are laid out in The Scarlet Letter.  This is a top priority for my writing because if I can create a precise and to the point thesis statement, then it will be easier to create paragraphs that are not too generic.  I think that with my writing, if I do not have a specific topic that I am further analyzing then my work becomes repetitive and not specific enough.

Wesley

Language Rant rewrite option Due date: October 28, 2016 (no extensions)

1)      To be eligible for a rewrite, you have to identify, research and write about at least one area for improvement in your language rant (see the Areas for Improvement and the Assignment Parts below).

2)      Next, choose a new word or phrase to write about (but I would prefer it not be “literally” or “like” – too many of those papers already).

Areas for Improvement

Identify and write about why you need to improve in one of the following areas:

1) Writing clear, concise prose

You might want to choose this if your major problems are related to wordiness/language clutter, filler words, vague or empty words, misplaced modifiers, awkward diction or syntax, excessive use of the passive voice and verbs of being.

2) Engaging voice

3) Specific/real examples instead of weak/hypothetical examples

4) Problems with mechanics (punctuation, spelling, syntax/grammar problems)

6) Clarity: Unity & coherence

Assignment Parts:

a.       Write a rationale statement explaining why you feel you most need to work on this particular skill(s).  Generally speaking, I want you to explain why – based on past experience, comments on this paper and others, etc. – you feel this a writing skill you most need to work on.

b.      Find a good source in print or on the internet which provides guidance on this writing skill. Copy/print a reasonable length (6 or less pages) for the purpose of annotating.  Read it and annotate it for important advice and tips, especially advice that pertains directly to your struggles.

c.       Write your new language rant.

d.      Write a strong reflection paragraph describing how you addressed the area(s) for improvement in your   new paper, using specific examples from your new paper as evidence of this growth.

Writing clear and concise prose



Read Chapter 2, Part 2 in class (117-127)

1984, Part 2, chapter 2 Rhetorical Analysis Practice Essay:

Read this, take notes, create an outline. On Monday, I will have you work with a partner to write a practice essay.

Write an essay explaining how Orwell uses various rhetorical elements to contrast the hope and beauty of a budding relationship with the darker realities of life in Oceania.  You might wish consider some of the following rhetorical/literary elements: his selection and arrangement of details; imagery; setting; and mood/atmosphere.   Please write legibly.

Part 2, Chapter 2

Winston picked his way up the lane through dappled light and shade, stepping out into pools of gold wherever the boughs parted. Under the trees to the left of him the ground was misty with bluebells. The air seemed to kiss one's skin. It was the second of May. From somewhere deeper in the heart of the wood came the droning of ring doves.

He was a bit early. There had been no difficulties about the journey, and the girl was so evidently experienced that he was less frightened than he would normally have been. Presumably she could be trusted to find a safe place. In general you could not assume that you were much safer in the country than in London. There were no telescreens, of course, but there was always the danger of concealed microphones by which your voice might be picked up and recognized; besides, it was not easy to make a journey by yourself without attracting attention. For distances of less than 100 kilometres it was not necessary to get your passport endorsed, but sometimes there were patrols hanging about the railway stations, who examined the papers of any Party member they found there and asked awkward questions. However, no patrols had appeared, and on the walk from the station he had made sure by cautious backward glances that he was not being followed. The train was full of proles, in holiday mood because of the summery weather. The wooden-seated carriage in which he travelled was filled to overflowing by a single enormous family, ranging from a toothless great-grandmother to a month-old baby, going out to spend an afternoon with 'in-laws' in the country, and, as they freely explained to Winston, to get hold of a little blackmarket butter.

The lane widened, and in a minute he came to the footpath she had told him of, a mere cattle-track which plunged between the bushes. He had no watch, but it could not be fifteen yet. The bluebells were so thick underfoot that it was impossible not to tread on them. He knelt down and began picking some partly to pass the time away, but also from a vague idea that he would like to have a bunch of flowers to offer to the girl when they met. He had got together a big bunch and was smelling their faint sickly scent when a sound at his back froze him, the unmistakable crackle of a foot on twigs. He went on picking bluebells. It was the best thing to do. It might be the girl, or he might have been followed after all. To look round was to show guilt. He picked another and another. A hand fell lightly on his shoulder.

He looked up. It was the girl. She shook her head, evidently as a warning that he must keep silent, then parted the bushes and quickly led the way along the narrow track into the wood. Obviously she had been that way before, for she dodged the boggy bits as though by habit. Winston followed, still clasping his bunch of flowers. His first feeling was relief, but as he watched the strong slender body moving in front of him, with the scarlet sash that was just tight enough to bring out the curve of her hips, the sense of his own inferiority was heavy upon him. Even now it seemed quite likely that when she turned round and looked at him she would draw back after all. The sweetness of the air and the greenness of the leaves daunted him. Already on the walk from the station the May sunshine had made him feel dirty and etiolated, a creature of indoors, with the sooty dust of London in the pores of his skin.

HW: Read chapters 3 and 4 of Part 2 (127-147)
Complete Part A of Revision Assignment (if you are going to do a rewrite)